taurus:
we can't keep fighting these things forever! well, we can, but i don't want to.
gemini:
i am a conversation.
cancer:
that's a lie. your middle name is 'cutie pie'.
leo:
[picks up a giant axe] never know when you might need one of these.
virgo:
no dinner for 1,000 years.
libra:
but i think you're just mad 'cause you're single.
scorpio:
all comedy is derived from fear.
sagittarius:
i drink coffee for breakfast.
capricorn:
hello, this is mom universe. yes, the children are playing swords. sorry, with swords. they are bleeding. oh no, they are dead. don't call again. sorry, i panicked.
aquarius:
you are an experience. make sure you're a good experience.