sig-was-here:

homosexfag-moved-deactivated202:

I firmly believe the best stories happen at- at Walmart self checkout-
I was there at 3 in the morning one time buying fruit loops (laugh) and there was a tall, TALL country dad there and his lil five year old daughter and
I- when i was buying my fruit loops i dropped them and i said “fuck… my L O O P S”
and i remember like.. in the back hearing “YEAH. DONT BE AFRAID TO SPEAK!!”
and i was like “what?? and he was like "You’re angry bout yo cereal! Say it! Say FUCK with your CHEST”
and i was like “F U CK” and his (laugh) lil daughter was like “yeah my daddy lets me say bitcH”

(via eatyourveggieswitheverymeal)

cherrylipssara1:

@cherrylipssara1

(via earlsgrey)

nerdgul:

pollyjean:

why can’t MY life be a 50k slow burn friends to lovers fic

Whos to say it isnt. u wouldnt even notice till chapter 17

(via eatyourveggieswitheverymeal)

graynard:

unfortunately, on this platonic male outing at outback steakhouse, my partner has ordered a “blooming onion”, transforming this once casual affair into a romantic tryst

(via chaosanimal)

kadywicker:

society went downhill when u stopped being able to go on youtube and look up “[show] season 1 episode 1” and getting the full episode broken up into parts but otherwise completely intact and it had every single episode

(via chaosanimal)

disaster-bastards:

krpkurta:

krpkurta:

bitches will say yes i think ppl can be nonbinary :) and then tell us about how there is a female brain and a male brain

im nonbinary bc i have no brain

No gender head empty

(via pocketfullofbullshit)

slendahgirl:

the-quasar-hero:

the-quasar-hero:

my healthcare plan is if i get sick, i’ll shrink a group of my friends and they’ll go and beat the shit out of whatever illness i have. 

this motherfucka show up? then last thing he gonna see is this

Isn’t…isn’t this a jimmy neutron episode..

(via eatyourveggieswitheverymeal)

anarchblr:

(via eatyourveggieswitheverymeal)

papa-peach:

me @ my mutuals

(via eatyourveggieswitheverymeal)